Untitled (for Shonnie 2)

what did i like

and how did it feel?

although it's been some time

ages actually

i can't say i've had a lot 

of activity between

the ears. i must be the same

if i still recognize what i know

to be what it is. don't argue

just kiss me and say you don't 

remember me just the way i was

i've got an arrangement with the clock:

he doesn't question my choices

i don't stare at him for quicker 

hands

the hair about her face was

first loosely curled

and she wore sweaters

jeans a locket or two

she was sweet but turbulent

tasty but fizzy too - there was a bite

at the end - like a special trap

to be sprung

i was in her orbit

and waited with

quickened pulse

at the prospect of a glimpse

or a brush of her hair

a wave of her hand

she tended not to listen

to compliments

like she knew the truth about herself

and refused to be out-argued

i knew my own truth of her

and i would cross no line

that held her back

held her to vows

both private and public

what was it about her that

propelled me to respect her honor?  could she

not see and know that i was like any other

man: salivating, sweating, hard and panting, lying

through curled lips

and all the rest. 

what kept you out of my arms

out of my bed

but wrapped in my heart like

the most expensive candy - unopened

exquisite. why did i weaken and refuse to

fight for the freedom of your choices

was i not a patriot - pledging allegiance

to all that i perceived as your wishes

and autonomy. sovereignty, shonnie,

and all else,

was always yours.

(c) jim hill (12-30-09)