Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Slow Jams of One's Golden Senior Year

There’s talk of taking

Turns

You read about the short

Turn-offs

And turn-arounds

These are only

Too familiar

To those who

Can concentrate

Crucially

And emphatically on the moment

Not for those whom

The word moment

Comes slowly

And revolve

Around

The self-inflicted

Fantasizing

Of a peach-fuzz face-down

On the floor

Of an elder hostel.

We must be better

Than we let on

There are witnesses

Who’ve seen

Us exhibit

That happiness thing

I’ve seen films

Of myself

That don’t allude

To the history of modern comedy –

Too late for the asymmetry

Of my face to make the same

Claim.

Today is such a supreme

Example of the ordinary

How to describe:

Man wakes up to find

His daughter’s cat has died next door

On the eve of easter

Actually this is no better

Or worse than any good Friday.

Would that the cat rise up

And come again

To beg food

From the neighbors

Or purr to forget

Misery

At having no caressing

Arms to hold

No one to assess the mystery

Of such beings

Unworthy of saving

Nor starving.

Do we convince

Ourselves that all our moves

Are our own

That we are wholly self-taught

And beholden to none

That we are self-starters

And willfully acting out

Our own plots

This patch of land

Is mine and only mine

Over my head

Six feet above

I see the soles

Of the watching and standing,

Mourning a day or two

Forgetfulness comes

Slowly and,

As the ashes are spread

And spiral upward

In the cyclonic action of the wind,

Dad’s memory

Grampaw’s stories

Auntie’s pie dough

Recipes shredded

And buried

Later to be found and swallowed

By a circling gull

At the ‘fill.


(c)jim hill (4-10-09)

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